so I’ve decided to stop freaking out. Me and Bobby are over and in the past because of a decision I made. Who knows if we would’ve worked out. Maybe. But maybe isn’t enough to be freaking out and trying to convince someone to forget what I said. I’ll just have to deal with how I responded to him not being an ass. Cause that’s all I’m used to and he isn’t what I’m used to. That was amazing but I couldn’t appreciate it the way I should have. I want him. But because of what I said I can’t have him. Because of the way I acted I can’t have him. Bobby made me feel like a person… and I couldn’t show him that I appreciated him. He’s gonna be the hardest guy to get over. But I have to accept that I need to get over him.
Anyways, I had an interview a couple days ago for a job that’s only 20 hours and the fact that I was excited about that kinda makes me question myself. So I don’t think I’m gonna take the job. I’m gonna look into CNA programs like I’ve wanted to do for a while. I just have to suck up the feeling I get from living with my sister with no job until I finish. It’s gonna be hard, really hard. But I can’t put it off forever. I’ll never amount to anything if I don’t suck up my emotions and just do what I need to do.