Why I’m Stressing

I didn’t have a difficult day today so i don’t know why  i feel the need to write… well i guess its because I’m stressing over the fact that i cant find a job… i feel awful for not continuing the job i had, just a regular telemarketing job. It wasn’t even that hard. My boyfriend Don is trying his hardest to support me and i feel absolutely awful for even accepting his help. though he has said many times that he loves to help me and would feel terrible if i needed help and didn’t tell him. However, i kinda feel like my awful birth mother, who was just a parasite to my father when they were married. Unlike her, i recognize what i did wrong. I mean, i could go back to that job (Logan said so) but some part of me feels like i’m not supposed to be there. That my destiny is somewhere else, like god has some plan for me or whatever. I don;t even think i can get personal revelation when i’m not following all of his commandments. Many times I’ve told myself to stop sinning, though i keep going back to it. It bugs me even more that don doesn’t push nor pull me from doing it… Like whether we sin or not is fine. That’s one of the reasons why i feel like we shouldn’t be together sometimes… But we still are together and 90% of the time we are together, we are happy. We are best friends and have a connection so strong that i haven’t had with anyone else… I’m also stressed about Mandy’s wedding coming up, and Jose’s baptism. Should i postpone going to kaysville for a few hours so i can spend a little time with don? He works so hard…

3 thoughts on “Why I’m Stressing”

  1. I definitely want to!! But I can’t afford it. I’m already in debt with other student loans 🙁 I REALLY appreciate your concern for me!

  2. Maybe find a part time for not to be able to keep money flowing between the two of you. With a simple part time job, you’ll still have time to be able to figure out what you want to do from life. Experiment, try new things. It’s important to keep yourself feeling successful in something as simple as a part time job and boost your pride so you feel confident to discover who you want to be. You’re going to get there. It just may take some time.

  3. Thank you so much! I am looking for a part time or temp job.

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