I don’t really know how to classify my family. I feel like my mother was not raised by white trash- I feel like her grandparents and my grandmother had basic manners and behaved within the boundaries of the middle class, but my mother doesn’t act like she was raised this way. She doesn’t exhibit polite manners- she’s rude and embarrassing to be in public with at times. She definitely did not teach me the manners I possess. I learned what I know from watching how people behaved at my friends’ homes or on TV or in books. When I was young and my family was still together and my mother would cook supper, my father would eat with both arms propped on the table and burp loudly whenever he needed. Rude, white trash behavior. But, my mother dressed us nice and made sure we went to school with our hair fixed and our clothes clean. I think that most people in our community would not call my family white trash. I don’t even know that the average person you asked would call us poor. I honestly don’t know what people would say behind our backs.
Just Keep Swimming
I am a 47 year old adult child of an alcoholic. My childhood could have been a Lifetime movie. I am dealing with PTSD, anxiety, and severe depression as a result. I am working on gaining an understanding as to what this means and learning how to be okay with myself. Some days, just killing myself and being done with it seems like the most sensible option. On those days, I keep telling myself, “just keep breathing in and out, that’s enough for today.”