I might as well start with the story of Austin. It’s going to sound dramatic and maybe it is, but I loved him, I love him. I remember the night that everything turned to shit. I sat on my couch in my apartment with a whole bottle of champagne that I drank myself before he came to pick me up. I cried to myself on that couch because I didn’t know what we were. I am always psyching myself into believing that people don’t care about me as much as I care about them. So that was my ultimate demise. And now I sit here every day on this same couch just dreaming about how things might have been different if I hadn’t been so stupid. I love him so much though. I have to sit here and watch him be happy with another girl. I struggle to hold on. I think about death all the time. I have contemplated suicide so many times but I can’t bring myself to do it because of my parents and my new nephew. So I just sit here in deep pain, and nobody sees. I scream for help but people turn away and leave. Nobody cares.

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