Lesson in Friendship

Dear you,

If I’m going to be really fucking honest here, sometimes I miss you…but not the real you. The you that I really hoped you could be, the true friend that I not just needed but deserved. But you’re not and never will be a kind, sweet, supportive or even funny person and that’s all I was asking for.

I hope you’re happy now asshole. You should be. You’ve taken people that I considered to be my friends, trashed my reputation and self confidence and wasted months of my life. Looking back I’m not even sure why I stayed friends with you for so long. You’re one of the most god awful human beings I have ever encountered.

You made me a worse person. Someone that I was ashamed to be and never would have become without your influence. I was cruel, I lied, I hurt the people that mattered most to me and did things that I still don’t even want to admit to just to gain your approval.

Today while you’re busy hanging out with all your friends- Wait you don’t have anyone other than your boyfriend because people know that you’re a total psychopath- I’m doing actual important shit that makes me happy and is bettering my life. Have fun getting wasted by yourself.

Toxic doesn’t even begin to describe our friendship. You were and are manipulative and destructive(and those are the nicest words I can find to describe you). You’re a time bomb and I’m so fucking elated that I won’t be around when you finally blow up.

All I’m hoping for is that one day I’ll look in the mirror and be able to tell myself that I’m nothing like you. I won’t see my friends out for a bet, I won’t sleep with peoples boyfriends, I won’t make the people around me feel like absolute shit just to feel better about myself. And I sure as hell won’t ever treat someone I care about the way that you treated me.

Sometimes I wonder what our lives would look like if everything didn’t happen the way it did. What would have happened if you just owned up to mistakes and treated everyone with decent human dignity-It’s really not that difficult to do. All those scenarios are awful! While the “friendship” we had did have some fun times(trying to create raps, driving around while listening to our playlist and going to get honey boba way too often), the absolute heinous bullshit you pulled outweighs all of that 100 times over. Thanks for some of the good times though.

Towards the end when we began to fight even more I was so hurt and disappointed. I just wanted you to be the kind of friend that I was to you. I wanted to feel at least a little bit appreciated and important to you. It was wrong of me to expect those simple things from you because someone as sociopathic as you would never have been capable of any of that. So for that I’m sorry.

Finally, I just really want to say thank you for teaching me what I deserve in a friendship. I’m so tired of you continually trying to attack me so after this I’m done. And also thank you for teaching your boyfriend how to kiss because he’s great at it!

Sincerely, your ex-best friend who is so much better off without you

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