Looking Inside Pt. 1

I could always say “I’m Alright.” It was so easy before to just put on a smile and think as long as I was serving my purpose everything else is acceptable. But, what happens when you lose that ability? When everything you thought you knew gets twisted, lost in a sense of confusion, or even worse deep contemplation? What do you do when you’re always right on an empathetic scale….until that one time when you aren’t? I’ve always worked well under pressure, in the midst of chaos… Taking the rough road had been my way for a long time.. You see, it’s always been easy for me to put others before myself, “That’s the way of a Libra” on an emotional and mental scale….That’s I would tell myself. What I didn’t know is that after a while of living in other peoples lives, solving their problems, and existing to help them, you lose yourself. I’ve become so entangled in others that its safe to say I’m not sure who I am. I know my mannerisms, and my surface personality, But deep down inside who am I really? How can I be sure this isn’t just another Persona I’ve created in order to the things that I thought was right. If on the surface I’m calm, collect, cheerful, and Helpful, wanting nothing more than a system that works, and to help others being a part of something greater than myself But, on the inside I am angry and displeased with the world around me wanting nothing more than to eradicate those who stand in the way of Progression….It brings to question which person Am I really? Who really lurks beneath this persona I’ve so perfectly slipped into all these years? What is my true path? Is it one of destruction, and Anger or Peace and Progression? Is it possible they are to different paths to the same outcome? I fear that I may go insane before I truly know the answer….Or perhaps the Answer it self will be my Undoing?

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