Unplugging for a week: Saturday

I’m doing it.

The first hour was awesome! I did it. I started congratulating myself then I checked the time, only 1 hour????? 

3:24 am and I was confused.

Certainly it must have been more than that. I wanted to make sure so I opened WhatsApp. Before I knew it I was checking and responding to messages and slowly but surely the emptiness started returning before I realized what I was doing. 

I was supposed to be on hiatus and here I was snuggling right back up with the enemy. This called for drastic measures. So I did it. I uninstalled every bit of social media (after backing up of course)

That was when I felt even more lost. 

In the background Glee wasn’t on anymore, some random song from YouTube had taken its place, and I was feeling just as random. 

I didn’t know what to do with this newfound time.

I downloaded audible and went for the first recommended book. Black witch (something like that). While listening I realized I needed to find things for seven whole days.

I was going to be alone for SEVEN days. I don’t even remember the last time I was with myself, just myself, for two days.

So I made mental plans, one day at the beach, one day drinking, one day at the park, one day at the movies, one day at a party and so this went on. After a while I had to pause, most of those days needed other people.

When did I sink so low where I needed other people to relax?? When did I forget how much I enjoyed myself. This acknowledgment scared me. Am I too late?

At 3:30 am I packed my bags.

I did what everyone does when they get scared: I went home. 

I went to mom and dad for the week. 

I got home just as the sun peeked over the horizon and I slept. I hadn’t done that in a while.

I was alone when I came to but I felt comforted. Maybe it was being enveloped by my childhood memories that caused it. Whatever the reason it felt good. 

Hey, I feel something other than empty.

What does unplugging have to do with this? I didn’t feel pressured to respond to texts or check notifications. I had none. 

All I had was me and nostalgia.

It felt good.

I cooked.

I had actually forgotten I love to cook. I listened music and cooked and danced. I was less empty. My senses were awakened.

I was awakening. 

I didn’t need to let Snapchat know what I was doing.

I didn’t spend ten minutes deciding what filter to use to share my creation with Instagram.

I ate with momny and daddy.

 We ate. We laughed.

I was full. I didn’t feel as empty.

Tomorrow would be a good day to go to the beach

This might be a good thing after all. 

 

 

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