5/11/2017

I’m in a state of constant apathy. Sure, a few tears occur here and there just to spice things up a bit, but other than that, I feel nothing.

I really want to get a summer job at some local supermarket or something. I feel like it would be an effective means of avoiding boring days which turn into lonesome nights filled with thoughts of hopelessness and suicide. Plus, I wouldn’t mind the extra money.

I don’t know if I consider myself to be good with money, but I know that whenever I’m about to buy something for myself, I have a qualm. I’m afraid I’ll spend the money on the wrong thing, or that, it might be a product from a bad batch, or that I won’t even use the thing because I’m not brave enough to (like a bold lipstick or something). At the end of the day, who even cares? Even if you’re buying the wrong thing, it doesn’t matter because every thing you can buy is the wrong thing. No full-coverage foundation lives up to its expectations, no crisps are ever as savoury as they seem at the beginning, no dress ends up looking as good on you in important events as it did in the changing room, and no packet of sour gummy worms lasts as long as you thought it would. There’s no right thing. And you can’t ever be fully content with what you buy. That’s just how it works. Trust me, it’s true.

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