A beautiful gift turned my day around

The photo above shows a photo manipulation of Blue<3 Her Instagram is zvesdara

A friend of mine asked for some photos of him and she picked one and created this<3 It’s amazing for the fact that the photo she used was not shot at that angle. The photo was taken from above and she was able to move the photo around to make it a side view and put him in water with a lovely blurred background and a halo a top of his head<3 Ugh, I miss him so much and it sucks, but now after three weeks I’m not crying anymore when I look outside or think of him unless I really focus on him and then the tears come, but not as much anymore. Which…I guess is a good thing. 
That made my day really after receiving that. I had a shit day of sleep because the brother in law keeps showing up randomly in the morning right after I’ve fallen asleep and starts using the power tools outside and banging around on something. Like…Dude, you don’t live here so why the fuck do you keep coming here to use the power tools.  I’m pretty sure all your shit is still at your property.  You and your wife aren’t divorced yet, so you can still go there since you still get to keep the garage and shit. Ugh. I think I’ve had a total of maybe 4 hours of broken up sleep when I’ve just started to finally be able to sleep again without having nightmares of Blue’s death and all my failed attempts to save him.
I know people say you have control of your dreams. Bullshit.  I realize I’m dreaming all the time, but I have no power of how it ends or how it goes. I will try force the dream to go a certain way and it never does it does the exact opposite.  Of course, I understand with the nightmare.  It really happened and the outcome would never change, but still, I couldn’t change it and I couldn’t save him. 
Yep, big broken fuckin record again. 
I finally got my yard mowed. I wish I would have taken a picture, because it looks so nice, but fuck it I don’t feel like it and who the hell wants to see my yard surrounded by fields lol
I live in the eastern part of North Dakota, all we are is Flat and Treeless and full of farm land. 
But lately we have had different kind of animals coming through our yard that we really don’t get. A moose has gone by the past week and then a black bear. Now we have a fox roaming around our house…which they have already gotten our neighbors chickens. I don’t know if it is sticking around, but I’m sure it’s living under our barn still unless it ate all the bunnies that were in our yard. T-T 
I wish it would be the perfect weather and it was my day off all the time so I could not worry about getting enough sleep for work and sleep all night lol But I don’t like the day jobs around here…wayyyyy too much chaos. It would be nice to just go sit outside and enjoy the warmth and listen to the birds. <3

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