Still troubled

I find I am still troubled by the sudden rejection by my long-years friend.  He is old.  In his eighties.  I checked my email this morning and sure enough he had deleted me from his list.  (He sends lots of forwards to people—used to be including me.)  I was relieved.  I am really glad it’s over.  But the rejection stings.  I did nothing to justify his bitterness.  He wanted me to write a book together with him about my dysfunctional childhood.  I told him no.  He got furious with me ( I think because he was sure we’d make a LOT of money on said book.) He is money-hungry and sex-hungry, and I do not and will not meet his demands however big or small.  I know he has dementia.  He cannot understand why “I’m married and I love my husband dearly” is a reason why I refuse to kiss him.  The more I think about it, the more I think he is crazy.  I am so much better off without him.  He was a family friend, but my husband never was comfortable around him, because he saw him try to kiss me several times.  Thank you, God, for taking this unstable person out of our lives.  Today I took my mom to get groceries.  She can’t drive anymore, and can’t see well.  So I helped her find things on the shelves.  THAT is what I want to do with my life now.  I took my hubby to the hospital for Lab work because he is seeing a new neurologist for possible Parkinson’s Disease.  He can’t drive anymore either because of neuropathy.  I want to take care of my family, not listen to some old man talking dirty to me.  This afternoon I go meet the bus and keep my 16 year old grandson until his mom gets home.  THAT is what I need to be doing.  That is my life.  It’s a good life God has given me, surrounded by people I love.  I love very easily, and loyally.  The whole friendship with this other man started because I hugged him at church at his wife’s funeral.  That was not wrong.  But then he tried to turn it into something wrong.  He tried to make me feel guilty for saying NO. NEVER.  I’m spilling my guts here. I hope people will comment.  Please.

2 thoughts on “Still troubled”

  1. You have absolutely done the right thing! It is your personal right to remove people from your life that cause you mental and emotional upset. You have such a warm beautiful heart. I feel from reading your last few posts that this man is infecting your karma by bringing up things you have laid to rest. Of course I understand that he has an illness and this is probably the main contributor BUT that doesn’t mean that you have to put up with it. No person should have to put up with being pushed to do something they do not want to. Especially since you have made your feelings clear and he has chose not to respect that.

    You are an amazing person. Always have the strength to put yourself first! It is your right to be happy and surrounded by people that contribute to your happiness.

    I hope you find confort and peace with this issue. You have worked hard to get to a good place in your life. It wasn’t handed to you on a plate! Don’t let anybody make you feel guilt or sadness for wanting to stay positive and happy.

    Lots of love x

  2. Open book and RD — thank you so much for your comments. I am really letting your words soak in and ease my mind. Hugs to you both, and others who have responded to my journalling recently. Big Hugs!

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