And so it begins..again

Diary.  Had one growing up.  Have jotted in notebooks off and on since those days.  I miss sitting and writing, or typing now. :0)  Perhaps it will help me find out just who and what I am now.  Almost 50, youngest graduated from high school for a year now and I’m wondering now what?  I’m done?  I’ve done my job?  Nah there has to be more.  

Tomorrow is Mother’s Day.  I’ve been one for 26 year almost.  That is the longest I’ve done anything in life except be alive.  I have loved being a mom.  I know I’m still one but I don’t have to pack lunches, fill out forms, play room/play/show choir mom.  Now I get to just be mom.  I have incredible kids.  Very lucky.  I did something right with them.  Maybe because I followed my heart and did what I thought was best for them.  Not what others thought.  And now….

now what?!  

Number one…get my health in check.  I mean I’m approaching 50.  I have MS.  Deaf.  AND have relied on people a bit much due to those two facts.  I just didn’t have time to learn what I needed.  Easier to let others do for me.  Diet in check.  Actual physical exercise in check.  

Number two…get my house under control.  Room by room get rid of all the stuff collected.  I want simple.  I want under control.  I want easy to keep clean.  I don’t want to leave crap for my kids to deal with (many years down the road) after I am gone.  I’m suffocating in stuff.  I’m a simple, low maintenance girl; why do i have so much crap?!

Get these in the works and going so I can do Number three during…my marriage.  24 years.  We’ve been parents, housewife, provider and dog parents for most of it.  Now I’d like to be friends again.  Just us enjoying our hard work.  Planning for retirement.  Just being a couple.  

AND, if I’m being honest here with myself, I need to fix my relationship with God.  Him.  HE went to a lot of trouble to make me and I’d like to make Him proud.  Instead of rolling His eyes at me.  

Well, this was fun.  I’ve missed it.  


One thought on “And so it begins..again”

  1. I know exactly how you feel, I don’t know what my purpose is now. Starting a journal soon.

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