I think I’m thinking a lot more about life and it’s meaning since graduation is coming up so soon. Right now I’m kind of stuck in a whirlwind of graduation photos on my Facebook and Instagram, career moves on LinkedIn and a bunch of “I have an interview for this___” or “I got an offer at ____!” I’m sure it’s the social media that’s making me want to compare myself to other people. We’re all at different stages in personality and mindset and where we want to be at our current times…but I feel like I’ve lagged. Like I haven’t done much. Like I haven’t reached the potential at I could be…Or where I should be at.
There’s so many points in my life where I’ve thought about whether I’m satisfied with my life and how it’s going and it upsets me that I can pinpoint so many. I’ve always told myself that I’m content with how I am. Fuck what anyone else thinks of me and who they think I am. At that point I just kind of forget who I am if that makes any sense. They say people don’t define you, but I think people help you define yourself. How am I supposed to know what I am? I only know what I want to be.
I guess tonight I’m just a big ball of emotions and thoughts and I’m not really sure how to handle it. Throughout college I only know that my friends have breakdowns due to stress and pressure but with graduation being only a month away I’m starting to feel it too. Some days I just want to give up and be a hobo but I know I can be better.