I become a prisoner to my own bed.
I feel weak and drained from the thoughts that keep getting projectile vomited around my head. My brain throws up every negative situation that ever occurred throughout my life.
I order myself to snap out of it. Lifting my head up from my tear soaked, mascara stained pillow I look around my room. Its too much to cope with. The floor is a maze of clothes and empty juice bottles and the apartment reeks of cigarettes.
Ignore the mess I tell myself, you can deal with that later. Get yourself a nice bath get yourself relaxed and happy and you will be fine.
I manage to bribe myself out of bed with the idea that a nice hot radox bath will lift my spirits. Once the bath is ran I sit down in the kitchen and spark up another cigarette.
What is the point? I break down, I sob so hard my body trembles. Here I am all alone I have no body. What is my life? Everyone always leaves me.
My mind has spiralled deep into the dark hole of depression. It’s fucking scary in here, someone please help me find my way home!