The meanest thing someone has said to me was spoken by Charlie and it was the Saturday after Black Friday about five years ago. You need a bit of back story to understand this fully. Every Thanksgiving my entire life I have gone to my granddad’s farm in Whitesville to see my extended family. It’s really the only time of the year I see the whole group and everyone flies in from all over the country. It’s important to me to go, but Charlie wanted to go to his Aunt Sandi’s that year in Tennessee. I didn’t want to go, but he said he was taking the girls and going. I didn’t want to be separated from my children on Thanksgiving so, I begged him to let me go to, but asked if he would bring me back late Thanksgiving night to go Black Friday shopping with mom and sisters, like I do every year. He has no annual traditions with his family, so he doesn’t understand how important they are to me.
Anyway, we went to Tennessee and had a terrible time anytime we were alone. He was rude to me during a trip to Applebee’s in front of the server and our children, which is nothing new. He was angry with me for sticking to my guns with my request to come back home Thanksgiving night. He wanted to stay another night, which would have been one more night in a hotel that we couldn’t afford…but whatever. So, he brought me home late that night and was furious the whole way. Granted, it was late and it had been a long day. But that was the deal before we left.
So, Black Friday came and went and I always put up my Christmas decorations that weekend. He, of course, was in a foul mood. He wasn’t talkative, happy, or even trying to be in the holiday spirit. He just laid on the couch watching crap TV while I tried to fake happiness for our girl’s sake while they and I decorated the tree. I was trying to decorate the mantel with our stockings when he asked if I was going to hang one for Lemon. I said, “Well, no, Lemon is a dog.”, and without a smile or a hint of joking he looked me dead in the eye and said, “Well, you’re a dog and we let you have a stocking.”. I just sat there. I didn’t know what to say to something so spiteful and malicious. My heart was in my feet and I got up and went to the bathroom to cry. I know, looking back, that it doesn’t sound like much…but you have to understand that this was just one more insult on top of all the other insults he slung at me all the time for no real reason. I’ve never forgotten it and can’t tell the story out loud without crying. During our separation, I brought this up to him and he doesn’t remember saying it. He doesn’t deny it, but he doesn’t remember it. Just goes to show that words mean something and they can make or break a situation. In this case, they broke it. So watch what you say. It’s a tough lesson to learn.