Just me, myself and I

Now I’m just like come to the point were I look around at people, and wonder if anyone of these strangers are ever going to be a part of my life ever? 

The world is filled with billions of people, but also you could say it’s a small small world. Atleast were I live, its a small city: Everyone knows everyone. In bigger cities like New York, it is probably not like that. There it would probably be like never seeing that hot stranger again. Here though, seing that hot stranger again; you could say the chances of seeing them again are higher. 

I’m not completely sure why I’m thinking about this random thing. I just feel like I’m ready for someone new to jump into my life now; that would be great. I don’t feel super lonely or anything, not like before. I just don’t feel like I have any kind of deep connection with anyone anymore. I’m surviving, I’m not getting depressed or anything. It just feels alittle sad. 

Usually I have a major crush on someone. Someone I admire strongly, someone I want to be with, someone I obsess over. Not now though, I can’t think of anyone that I have a crush on. No crush, no love interest or anything like that. 

I do have my friends. Though I dont have anything special deep with them. Nothing that warms my heart. I’m very glad my friends are my friends and all. Before I used to think of my bestfriend as my soulmate. My bestfriend was like a sister to me. She is still the most important person in my life and all. We just dont spend that much time together anymore, she has a boyfriend now (and thats okay, he is cool), we are together from time to time but its not like I admire her like hell anymore. (Girl if you are reading this, I love you, you havent done anything wrong). 

This text is not about how lonely I am and deseperatly want someone in my life. It’s not about me feeling alone at all. It’s about how I feel like there is no mega important human in my life right now. It could be a good thing, as I get to focus alot on myself. But like It would be nice to have someone there too. Someone to admire, someone to think about, someone to anything! I don’t know. 

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