07. Day One

Where is the sand man when you need him. I haven’t had good sleep in days, I just continuously keep dreaming of Ann, waking up in cold sweats. I know it takes time to get over someone, but she obviously doesn’t miss me, why can’t I accept that.

Trying to figure out the best path for my self, without putting my self at to much of a risk to lose everything, and keep my animals safe is really hard. The situation with work really doesn’t make it easier. I’m losing hours, which in my position I  don’t find is right, but I’m not the big woman on campus. I ultimately cant control it, which gives me the notion maybe its time to move on. I love the company I really do, but why is it I feel I’m constantly being taken advantage of.

I need something stable with everything I’m trying to accomplish in my life, and this may just not be what’s best for me. So I suppose I’ll start looking else where. I really don’t want to find another job, but I feel the problems are only going to get worse when I’m trying to attend school. I refuse to put off school any longer. If I have to find an over ngiht job, and sleep a few hours in the afternoon I will. I’ll make it out of this slump, some how some way I always come out on top.

                                                              how much will I lose in the process?

There’s always some give and take trying to get ahead. Though I can figure out what to give and what to take. Day by Day. Is the only way to go.

I made it through today with out messaging her for some reason. So Day one of healing….accomplished, because I wouldn’t call it a success, I still cried, I still miss her.

 

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