I’m usually happy for maybe 3 hours every few days. Why? Idk. I want to be happy more often but my brain basically tells me, “no”. It tells me to think about all the things I have yet to accomplish and how I get rejected by ppl way too often and how ppl are intimidated by me when I’m really the the small little mouse who is more afraid of them. Do they see me? Am I just an avid complainer who cries because she wants attention? Maybe. Will I ever be better? No. I hope so but my faith is not even the size of mustard  seed right now. I’m walking through not feeling a thing. I’m sure I’ll eventually feel the sting of the decisions I have made and have yet to make. Am I scared? Idk. I don’t know what these feelings are. I just know what they aren’t. Can I be free? Will I be happy? How. 

2 thoughts on “Happy”

  1. Actually, we don’t know what is HAPPINESS?
    Because, we don’t think about it. If we start thinking the happiness is around us.
    Start from yourself. Think about you. How beautiful you are. is it not the happiness. Million people around you are not enjoying the beauty like you.
    How healthy you are.. your eyes are working, you can see. think about who don’t have eyestight and even they did not see their mother in life. And you have it, it is your happiness. it is you blessings by GOD.

    When you think in this way. you will always be Happy
    And will Stay thankful To GOD.

    Its key to the HAPPINESS.

    Yes, you are going scared. When your brain say you do this work and then say do this work. Always pospond another task and focus on first deep task to accomplish. When its done do another.

  2. On good days, I am able to see life through the lens of which you speak. Today is not one of those days.

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