Borderline Personality Disorder.

Having BPD traits as a 15 year old girl is most definitely the easiest thing in the world. Especially having the impulsive traits of BPD. I wish people understood what it’s like to live with this everyday. It’s currently 1:11 a.m. on a Monday and I have school in a few hours. Living with this disorder is so incredibly hard. I want people to know what goes on in my head everyday. Imagine, having both anxiety and depression, and ADD and ADHD, and then OCD, and also implusive BPD traits. People think that I’m always drugged up just to be happy. I was. Not anymore. I’m never happy anymore. I just sit in my room and ignore everyone and contemplate life. The things that go on in my head are pretty scary. My moods are always changing. I’m always changing. One moment I’ll be happy and laughing, the next I’ll be crying and suicidal, and the next I’ll be in love with someone who I don’t even know. I just want everyone to understand that living with this disorder is not easy. I am always stressed out and wanting/needing help. I can’t even be self-dependent because I’m scared. I depend on everyone else, then everyone else leaves and I’m stuck. I just want to feel better. I am not okay and I haven’t been okay in my last 15 years of life. People don’t understand what I go through on a daily basis. I’m always shaking with social anxiety and always crawling with sadness and wanting to die. I always love someone and want the attention. I’m always so dramatic. I’m always everything. It hurts being like this because you do things you never thought you’d do. I’ve done and said plenty of things I’d never expect. Having this disorder changes you as a person and it hurts everyone who loves you hearts. Please, if you have this or know someone who does, tell them you love them and that they will be okay.  
(also, im sorry that this is all over the place, im sort of a mess right now) 

One thought on “Borderline Personality Disorder.”

  1. I have a friend with bpd and ptsd she has been through a lot. As I’m sure you have too it took me talking to her and understanding that I am always there for her in good and bad times. She has told me she is up and down and she can control it. She is a very special person to me all I can do is listen and be there for her anyway I can. I hope this will go well for u . Understand there will be times u can’t handle so lean on someone that will understand and love u just the way u are

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