When you take your self away from the things that float around in your mind the most, it gives you time to think, make sense of chaos. In the time that I’ve had off from work I have been spending it with friends when I can, my dogs, and ultimately myself. I got up and I got going today. Even though I didn’t even semi sleep until 6. I was still awake by 9, and getting things in order around the house. Trying to make it mine again. Somewhere along my spree this morning, into this after noon, I jumped, I messaged Ann on messenger. She did reply, and we messaged back and forth for a few hours. It was really nice. I’m not allowing my self to believe its going to lead back to anything as much as I would like it to. She suppose to come over next week to watch a show she got me hooked on. I’m not sure how I feel about it. How am I suppose to act. I find it odd, we broke up a week ago, she was wucik to delete me from everything, not attempt to give me her cell phone number, but agree to come watch a show with me, and spend time with me. I’m glad she’s speaking to me, but I’m pretty sure I’m more confused now, then I was before I messaged her. It’s a step.
It’s just passed 11, and I’m actually feeling slightly tired. Tonight may be the night I fall asleep before 6 am. I would love to be able to wake up around then, not fall asleep then. I want to begin the habit of getting to the gym around 6 or 7 in the morning. so I don’t have to try and cram it in the evening so I can leave the time to the pups, and studying. by the end of the week I’m going to see what the hold up is with the college, and why I have this administrative hold on my application.
Everyday I’m trying to progress a little, I’m in no attempt to continuously over whelm my self. Something with in has changed, when or how I’m not entirely sure. I’m growing, I’m learning, changing.
Writing, it’s not all bottled up anymore.
Expression has been easy for me, but learn how to express things is what going to be best for me.