First year done

Amazing to think year 1 is done. I mean everyone always tells you that once you start university everything just goes by so fast. I mean as a kid everyone always says to you enjoy the school years and then when you get to university they now say enjoy the break because as soon as we leave instead of only be working for around 6 months of the year it is constant work with only 28 days holiday throughout the year. Although I am grateful for the breaks there is a problem with me having so much free time on my hands. That is the fear that mind will wonder. For some having a wondrous mind is something that is a blessing not saying that I am something of a danger to anyone just that there is a fear that the dark side which I try and hide so well is going to come out into the light and there is nothing that I can do to distract it. This is probably one of the reasons that I have been home for less than a week and already been to the gym a lot if you knew me at all you would think that this is weird. Now you might think wow this is one crazy person who is just ranting to oblivion and that to be fair no is going to listen and ignore this said person and that everything will be fine. To be fair I am a little psychotic but then again please tell me someone who lived in a broken home who went to boarding school at such a young age is no psychotic. Anyway once again I am being brought off topic so let me bring you back having a 4-months break might be good for some people and not saying that it is completely awful it is just the fact that I now have to spend 4 months at home. Now you must be thinking, wait for a second weren’t you just complaining about being away from home all the time. Well if you thought that then another idea that you have no idea who I am. Home is a place where everyone is meant to be safe and finds comfort well with my mad family there is no peace anywhere you go that might be due to the constant fighting with everyone in my family and then I am stuck in the middle trying to make peace with everyone. I am just not so sure that I can spend this much time at home due to the fact that my family do not even know me or have never taken the time to know me if you are suddenly feeling sorry for me do not worry that pity train left a long time ago I just got used to being alone and I do not mind it I fell in love with reading and writing hence the fact that this is so long rather than just me trying to get it all out in less than a few paragraphs actually now I think about it that might have been something good to put in this. Once again brought off topic I guess that is just how my brain works. So this a long-winded way of me saying that I afraid of being home for this long and that although it is a good thing to be done with the first year of university as it means that sooner or later I will actually be in something called the real world which really does freak me out I just wish that the break wasn’t as long as it is as now it means that I have to figure out what I am going to do minus the month that I am working. Now wishing I paid attention when everyone was putting out job applications. I still can’t believe that First year is done. 

Until next time weirdos xxx

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