Apparently the first thing on my mind this morning was rearranging my living room. So I cleaned up, and did just that. Even though Ann and I are speaking, I need to make my house, my home, MY home, for the first time. First it was Antoinette’s and mine, then it was a shrine, then it was Ann’s and mine. It just needs to be mine for a while. Get rid of all of the memories and things that linger around. When I move from this house, I plan to be purchasing a home, so dragging all those things along with me just cant happen. Honestly, what good does it do. So for the rest of the year, I plan to go room to room, through ever box I have managed to collect and throw in a corner of the basement or back bed room, get rid of what isn’t mine, what anyone has left behind, and replace it with my things. Begin building my self, and my life, so when the times right I can share it with someone.
I’m currently sitting here at lunch with Ann. It’s nice to just sit here with her, I’m writing as she’s looking for cats for her apartment. Maybe this… “starting over” is what we needed, if that’s even what this is. I suppose I’ll have a little more of an idea if she agrees to go out on this date with me Sunday night. She has a few things to do this weekend, so mostly will be out of town. I think she’s trying to play hard to get, or make me really prove I’ll never do anything to hurt her again.
I love her entirely to much to allow that to happen again.
Sitting here, just across from her, talking, laughing, it really just doesn’t getting any better then this.
Work beckons me soon, So I’m going to give her my undivided attention.
Pray she says yes to my date.