It’s always good to exchange news with people you know. However, we know that oftentimes, one thing still leads to another. What you believe a well-meaning advice or suggestion may sound intrusive and offensive – or even worse, judgmental – to others.

Maybe it’s your choice of words, condescending tone, or the timing itself. Still, it’s not asking too much to be a little bit more thoughtful before you decide to say anything you (think you) need to say. If it’s too difficult for you to keep quiet, then at least be more sensitive when they start giving you a warning glare.

Yeah, everyone’s entitled to their own opinion(s). If that’s how you want to play it, then everyone’s also entitled to how they (choose to?) react to whatever you say. If they’re offended or angry, perhaps maybe you deserve it.

Calling them ‘overly-sensitive’ only makes things worse. If you own that big mouth, then please be responsible for once in your life.

So, without further ado, here are the top five (5) binary arguments by nosy, judgmental Indonesians:

  1. Married versus single.

Ahh, what else is new? The endless joy of bullying singles, especially if they’re women. Make them feel less worthy and ugly. Assume that they always feel lonely.

Ironically, married people also complain. Whether it’s superiority complex or just pure regrets, they say: “You’re so lucky that you’re still single. You’ve got more spare time and less burden.”

Hmm, ever heard the term “Look beyond what you see”? No? Too bad, then. Maybe it will help you to go easy on the stereotyping and judging.

  1. With children versus childless.

I wonder if any of you realise that it’s not about what you want nor the efforts you make. It’s God’s will. So, what makes you think you can tell the childless couple that they ‘haven’t tried hard enough’?

If you’re happy with the kids you’ve got, then why do you have to rub it on their faces? How do you know that they also want the same thing(s)?

Well, even if they don’t, then who are you to question and judge their choices?

  1. Breast-feeding versus bottled formula milk.

Seriously, people. Couldn’t you get even farther than this? I thought fellow moms were supposed to be more empathetic towards each other.

“Maybe you’re still not trying hard enough.”

Really? What’s that supposed to mean? How do you know?

  1. Regular school versus home-schooling.

Home-schooling is a more recent concept introduced in Indonesia, although it’s been around in other countries for some time. No wonder, people still get the wrong idea about it.

“Home-schooling? How will your kids get their healthy social life, interactions with other kids and making friends? Aren’t you worried that they might become anti-social?”

NEWS FLASH: Your kids can still be asocial (not anti-social, since it’s more patological) if their friends at school happen to be bullies and jerks…and the teachers just don’t care.

  1. Housewives (stay-at-home moms) versus office-working moms.

Both are working moms. Both are with great careers. As long as you do it for the welfare of your kids, then both of you are noble. OKAY?

Seriously, people. Enough is ENOUGH. You busybodies need to get a life.


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