Down hill

Being told you are too fat to be in a relationship with is soul destroying.  For someone who has always hated themselves. Always thought I wasn’t good enough. That I was too ugly. Too fat. Too loud. Too me. For someone like that to have it confirmed by someone they care about deeply that they are in fact not good enough. It’s world shattering. I have been crying non stop for over 2 hours now. Cut my thigh multiple times. Yet still, nothing has eased this darkness; this pain inside me. All I can think is that I want to get in my car, leave everything and everyone behind, and drive off a very large cliff… everyone would be much better without me in their lives bringing them down with my own self hatred.

One thought on “Down hill”

  1. *hug*
    take it easy on yourself sweetheart. Even though your hurting and those you care about hurt you,you can rise above and find somethings you like about yourself and embrace them and focus on loving yourself because thats all you can do.In this world we will never be good enough not to anyone and surely not to ourselves. so why not just say “whatever” and be happy as best we know how. screw the voices in our heads and screw society.
    lots of love.

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