Last week I wrote/spoke of things for the first time that happened during my childhood. But there is still so much more. How does one deal with these memories? Lots include memoires with my siblings. wonder if they remember? I would hate if they are internally suffering with painful abuse memories.. but at same time I would hate to bring it up if they have blocked them out. My mom is a good mom, good Christian lady, and actually provides a type of counseling that is called TPM. Its in prayer form and its about getting truth to lies we started to believe from childhood. I did it one time years ago with a friend of hers but nothing of extreme stature came up. I feel the need to protect my mom from emotional pain, and so I dont think I could tell her. My mom grew up very poor with 7 sisters. Several men in and out of their lives, lots of abuse. Thankfully my mom was spared but only bc her sister would step in and say take her instead. My mom would then be forced to watch. Later she married my father who was physically and mentally abusive. They eventually divorced and she has been w my step dad for 25+yrs. )My real dad did get his act together and no longer phyiscally abusive to anybody.) In the 90s her sister was raped and murdered. My brother died in 2003 in a car wreck. Then she lost two step sons. and all of that is TRULY scraping the surface of her life. Her goal in life was to give us kids a better life than she had. to protect us from harm/abuse. However what she doesnt realize is all the time her and my step father were building a VERY successful business us kids were exposed to alot of things. I could have had anything I wanted, and very well provided for, but really all I wanted/needed was my moms time. I dont know what the best way to deal with these memories. I dont want to hurt her but at same time I feel like I suffer in silent.. Would bringing them to light even help or would it just cause more pain?
I really stuggling with anixety and self esteem. I have ADHD. Ive lost 3 brothers- 1- car wreck 2003, 2-car wreck 2008, 3-overdose 2014. Jornaling helps me sort out all the swirling thoughts in my head. I find comfort in it and use it as a tool to work through my emotions--But i suck at grammar and spelling. Im happily married to an amazing man.. I'm a mom of 3. My favorite parenting quote is "the days are long but the years are short". My son M was just recently diagnosed with several learning disorders- dyslexia, combo add/adhd, anixety, and a written impairment.