liar

I hate to admit that I miss you but I do. I miss you and it’s not even you I miss it’s the lie you fed me the roll you were playing. It’s the promise of a future, a life, and a family I miss. It’s all those goofy moments all the laughs all those moments where you took my breath away. It’s all those moments where I fell more in love with you. but all those moments weren’t real were they? all those moments and promises were a lie weren’t they? I filled a void for you for a fleeting moment. maybe you did love me but it wasn’t real love it wasn’t true love was it? it was the falling  part you loved so while you were giving me half of your heart and half of yourself I was giving you my whole heart all of me I was all in but it turned out to be you who had the upper hand. Now you get to move on like I wasn’t ever there like I never meant anything to you, while I have a constant reminder of you and what we were I gave you my heart and you took it and broke it giving it back to me in shambles with pieces pissing I hate you so much for this I hate you even more because you still cross my mind and I still hope that maybe you will come crawling back to me and say how stupid you were how bad you messed up and how I was the best thing that ever happened to you but I will never get that I will never get the satisfaction of knowing you hurt like I hurt that you miss me the same way I did that you want me back as bad as I did but I will never get that and maybe that for the best now I know you will never see this and if you did you wouldn’t even care or think twice about everything but I hope you lead a sad and lonely life I really do because you do not deserve happiness    

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