Fuck Pain, man.

Alright, so now that everything has settled down now and we were able to pay off the funeral for my mother in law, everything has finally calmed down and everything is done…except for something Nathan has to do to get his moms social security she was owed while still alive and never got.  Either way, it has calmed and things seem to be going easier.
I went back to work Monday night and it was a good night, but in the morning I noticed my back was kinda aching.  It wasn’t bothersome, it was just noticeable. 
But let me say this, this has been happening once a month for the past 3 months. So, it’s weird.
I got home and I noticed my back was starting to be a little more bothersome so I figured hurry up and eat some left over lasagna and go to bed. 
WELL, that did not happen. 
I went to bed about 7:30 and that was when my back decided it was going to raise holy hell. The pain was already pretty bad, but it was still at a stage where I could possibly ignore it. I figured, I would go take a shower and the hot water would numb it enough for me to pass out in bed like the first time it happened. 
IT DID NOT WORK. I repeatedly went to the shower every hour until noon and it didn’t stop hurting. IT GOT WORSE. It got so bad I cried even laying still. A heating pad wasn’t hot enough for it to numb the pain and the pain just kept intensifying. It was so much worse than the last two times it has happened to me. 
The last time I got in the shower at noon, I puked from the pain. It hurt so bad and I had to have the water so hot (My back even got burned and Nathan had to put burn cream on it) just for it to go away. It only went away when I was in the shower, but the second I got out it only started hurting again. 
I puked five times in the tub. Couldn’t even bend over and puke in the toilet. (Since the tub and toilet are right next to each other.. small bathroom) If I ate something other than Lasagna…I couldn’t tell you what it was. Nasty. Oh, and I passed out in the shower…a few times. I would only wake up right before the water went cold. It was causing me so much pain that it went into my abdomen and radiated down my back and caused me to pass out in the shower and in bed for maybe 45 minutes at a time. 
After I got out of the shower at noon, I passed out in bed right after I laid down. I’m surprised I even made it to the bed for how much I felt weak and my vision was dimming. I was out until 4pm. That was good at least. 
I woke up with the bothersome pain I had right before the extreme pain hit me and it was a relief to have that instead of the excruciating pain.  But I only got maybe 3 hours of sleep total and there was no way I was going to be able to go to work on that little of sleep. 
So I called in to work and told them I wasn’t coming in for the night shift. They weren’t happy, but I would get fired for falling asleep at work, so better stay home lol
I went to bed after Nathan left for work for the night at 7pm and slept until 11pm. I felt so much better after that nap and my back didn’t hurt afterwards. 
I cleaned a little bit and put laundry away and got sheets washed and dried and then watched Grumpy and Grumpier Old Men. I love those movies. Makes me remember watching them at my grandmas house all the time while younger lol It made me feel better..and the toast I made to have something in my stomach. 
But I did schedule a doctors appointment to get this checked out because it seems to get worse each time it happens and I hope that it isn’t something serious and maybe just a pinched nerve or something. I would freak if it’s cancer. UGH. My family is full of different types of cancer.. I’m pretty much screwed.  I hope it’s something I can get a chiropractor to fix or something. I need to see a chiropractor for my hips/knees, since apparently my hips are out of place and are causing the pain in my knees. *shrug* I think my weight is more of an issue so…I’m trying and failing at it. 
So, it is so that the foxes have moved.  They are to the north of us right on the edge of the neighbors land and a farmers land. They live in a small culvert and it scares me that they live there, but as long as it doesn’t rain a lot they should be okay.  I see those babies every day going to work and going home.  Unless I decide to sit in my neighbors yard for like an hour to get a photo, which they wouldn’t like and I don’t want them to know about the foxes, I won’t be able to ever get photos of them because when they see my vehicle they run into the culvert and that’s it. Makes me sad that too much went on for them to stay in our yard. I loved going outside and feeding them a little bit. 

Well, My appointment is at 10:30 in the morning… Sooooooo that means I don’t get to go to bed… Lovely. I hope I won’t be crabby.
Night journal goers

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