The Illusion of Control

It’s actually been a long while since I wrote here and I’m going through a sort of dark spot and I suppose writing here should make me feel better. So here goes:

I think I’m going through the phase that practically everyone goes through- but I guess that like practically everyone I feel I’m unique.

I actually question the lives we lead today. We go through this endless cycle and no one seems to want out. Everyone just seems to want to survive. No one actually wants to live.

I mean we’re forever striving towards something. And that something seems so utterly worthless when you actually look at the big picture. As students in school we strive towards  good grades. Why? To get into a good college. Why? To get an education so we can get a job. Why? So we can earn enough to start a stable family and our kids can go to college. Why?

You see where I’m getting. It’s like we’re still in the early man stages of “Survival of the Species” and are trying our very best to produce offspring and keep them in a sheltered environment so that they can do it all again. Because our species has to survive. Because seven billion people is not enough. Because we humans are actually a species worth saving.

I find it difficult to believe in the last. Look at what we’ve done to our planet. Look at how we treat people. People who are just different. Or women.

But then again. People ask, really, if you don’t wanna go to college, get a job, start a family; then what’s the plan? I’m tempted to tell them that I have one, but I’d be lying.

I really would love to travel (exactly how cliche`d can I get) and see some part of this planet before it’s gone. And maybe bring about some change for the better.

Honestly, right now I’m so pissed at this species that all I want to do is something– anything different and maybe–hopefully great. 

Because I believe that if we consciously try, we can be free of those instincts so deep rooted in our DNA. Those instincts to just survive.

If you actually got this far in this teenager’s shameless rant, thank you and leave a comment if you can! Have a great day! 🙂

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