06/02/2017 05:25 Choas (mild language)

I miss chaos. I realize that may sound odd and even dumb but I do. I was born to a family that was going into constant chaos, mostly due to my mothers constant drug problems, and that’s what I’m used to. I stated that sort of life style very early and grew up hard and fast. I remember vividly stomping a girls head into the pavement when I was in 5th grade because she tried to rat on me, my crew and my family. I am not saying this is a good things, but it is a thing. I remember people knowing who I was and fearing and respecting me, not for good reasons but it was still there. I sort of miss it in a weird way. Don’t get me wrong I’m not going to go back to curb stomping bitches and running stuff, but it is weird to suddenly have a normal American Apple Pie life. I pay my taxes, go to work and obey the lay. I am not saying I don’t want to do those things because I do like the security of knowing no one is going to be banging on my door at 3:00am for their next fix, but at the same time it’s so boring to not have anyone randomly showing up and completely uprooting my life. I know the way I have me life now is better, but I still miss my old life. Is that wrong?

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