I finally see the pattern with my own eyes and not my mothers. I know why she worries about the guys I bring in my life now. There all manipulative assholes (not all of them but the ones I choose interest in). Mom chose my dad and he turned out to be something we all didn’t expect. I now fear for the fact that it’ll be very difficult to break that pattern. I hope that I’ll break it just like my mother is trying to. One day I know I’ll be able to break it but it will take time. For now I think I need a break from guys like I said before. For fucks sake I’m a teenager and the one thing I need to do right now is live my life.