So let’s try this out

So let’s try this out, never had a journal or anything but I guess I heard somewhere that it was healthy or whatever, I guess I gotta tell something how I feel… Well I guess I feel pretty shitty I thought not drinking would make me feel better about myself but all I feel is the need to have a drink, whiskey sounds like heaven right now but I guess I have to stop this shit at some point maybe my drinking was one of the reason she left me. I really don’t know why she left me but I’m almost positive it wasn’t for the reasons she said it was, nothing about what she said made sense the only rational idea I have is she just generally lost interest in me and probably found someone else, can’t say I blame her I can’t blame any girl for not wanting to be with me I’m awkward and unattractive. 2 things no girl will ever want in a guy idk why she was with me for so long anyways maybe she was in denial about who I was and it hit her later maybe she was using me for free food and Dick and just realized it wasn’t worth it anymore at the end of the day I knew it’ll never last so I guess sooner is better than later what really worries me is how long it’ll be until I find someone else being single in your 20s can be such a embarrassing and lonely thing, even in the nonromantic sense I still feel pretty alone my only friend who I see regularly is my roommate James who even him I can’t say I completely trust I sense a lot of narcissism with him and I’m pretty sure he’s a sociopath but none the less he is still kinda my best friend, my family is a whole other story but that’s way to much to get into right now I think I’ll leave it at this for tonight because it’s really bumming me the fuck out

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