Remember that feeling you got last time you saw something you shouldn’t have? The immediate stomach drop and almost disbelief as you stare blankly. Trying to contemplate the sight as your mind starts whirring and your whole body heats up. This is how I feel now. powerless. hurt. full of regret. Waves of emotion wash over me as I wonder how we ever got to this point? We were so happy. I remember it like it was yesterday and feel my reality suspended as I face the fact that it was truly over 2 years ago. How can that be? I close my eyes and I’m back there, in the dirt, in place that I called home when I had no where else to feel whole. Every fiber of my being wants to go back to that time. I was so happy it was poetic. I could write so many beautiful things but they will be limited to the amount of torture I can endure wishing desperately for something I can never have. I’m sorry.