How am I feeling today? I’m not really sure. Today’s been better than some over the last three months but definitely sucky compared to life six months ago. It’s so funny how my life is blocked off into the Before and After. Before our separation and After. Some days I miss you and us and our family and life we built together…and then I remind myself of all the grief you have put me through for no reason, just because you were a bully and could and then I take a deep breath and move on. I’m nervous to sell my house and move our girls to some crappy apartment somewhere. I told them this was their forever home and I meant it at the time. I probably would have never really left you. But you are your own worse enemy and now I can’t be with you. But a house is just four walls and a roof. Home is where you make it and the girls and I can be happy somewhere less fancy. We’ve always enjoyed each other and that won’t change with our address. Too bad you won’t be there to see it. I know you are sorry and remorseful, but that’s only as long as you think I will eventually give in and let you come home. It’s not going to happen. I know the gloves will come off because I’ve seen glimpses of it already. It’s fine. You know I panic when it comes to money, mainly because I have none…but that’s life and I will survive. I’m smart and resourceful and I will figure it out. I haven’t had access to any of your income in years anyway, so it really doesn’t make a difference.
But as far as my day, I’ve had worse. I don’t have to go home and deal with you aggressively ignoring me for some unforeseen infraction that I unknowingly committed on your person that you are going to punish me for for days….so there’s that!