I actually feel alot more confident in myself now. Why? I’m not very sure, but like I have finally stopped being so damn dependant on others all the time. I feel like I’m actually beginning to be more independant.
Before, I always made my friends do things for me. Or like I would always follow them around like a puppy, or I would like hide behind them constantly. It’s not like that anymore. I don’t walk behind them anymore, I don’t hide and I’m actually doing shit on my own now.
For example: For years now, I have been scared of standing in the counter bying stuff. I’m still struggeling alittle with it, but I’m doing it more and more now without a problem. I remember some of my friends were always so annoyed by me, always making them do it for me. Ofcourse the friends that judged me hard like that, dont hang out anymore, dont need that kind of negativity in my life! But I understand why It could get alittle annoying at times, but come on.
Or whenever it came to school, group projects, anything social related really: I always hid behind my friends or kept extremly silent. Not anymore, I’m not scared of saying things anymore. I’m not scared of being judged anymore, because who really cares? And the most important thing that I am mostly proud of: I nailed the oral exam! Like seriously, no problem. I have become alot more confident when I’m speaking.
Also I used to always sit inside my room being extremly introverted. I could sit days upon days inside without going out. My parents would always complain that I never go out.
Now its kind of very much the opposite. My parents are now complaining alot about how I’m never home anymore. I have found alot of joy in spending time outside, even though its often by myself I still find it enjoyable. I also get to build up my photography skills alot.
Negative thing though, I dont have friends that enjoy being outside as much as me. I am like ALWAYS outside, while my friends not so much.
My solution to this problem was to finally meet up with my online friends. Like they dont live that far, and Guess its time for me to stop being such a coward and just learn how to take the damn bus. And I did, yesterday: Took the bus for the first time on my own, to meet my online friend whom is a pretty damn cool girl. NO REGRETS
I might have gone completely out of topic, but yeah. I am changing in a good way, or is it? Introvert going extrovert.