My heaf has been my worst enemy lately. Too often I have been thinking I’m useless, fat, ugly, unwanted etc. I’m starting to get a little bit scared as to what I might do as I’ve been constantly fighting the urge to just get in my car and leave everything behind. I feel like I’m trying way to hard to get things done and to hide my true self because people don’t understand. Being told that what I think isn’t true, or is ridiculous does not help. It just makes me feel worse. I feel like everything is falling apart around me and everyone is slowly stepping away and I can’t save everything… unfortunately it just makes me not want to save anything at all. I feel my inner self getting smaller as she couches down into a ball in the corner to try to escape fom everything.

I really wish I didn’t feel this way. I wish I wasn’t laying in bed at 3.30am crying to myself while my friend sleeps beside me. I wish I could just have 1 day, without all of this being inside me. It’s so draining and I don’t think I can keep going for much longer. I’m so tired of fighting myself…

One thought on “Enemy”

  1. Can you be creative and like yourself? Do nice little things to treat yourself. Like, I bought some new eye shadow today. More importantly, remember you have a Father in Heaven who made you and LOVES you. He has a good life planned for you. Please don’t disappoint Him. Your life is not finished. You’ve just hit a really rough spot. Talk to Jesus and ask Him for help, sweetie. Hugs!

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