Who knew that I would return to writing? I – a young man of 25 years – have found myself in a perpetual cycle of endless agendas. Ironically, in the process of trying to realize my true potential, I have lost touch with writing anything meaningful in over a year.
I will not use the busy medical student cliche as an excuse. For I am a firm believer that once you have established priorities in your life, you will find the time AND make the effort to pursue that which makes you fulfilled.
Once, there was a time when I felt such a passion and need to write. I cannot help but smile thinking about those innocent memories when I kept a blog to be shared with a sweetheart of mine.
It was when I was a middle school boy living in a crowded city in South Korea. Our family lived in a small apartment on the 14th floor where I could see the gleam of city lights and cars below me. All the while, the setting sun lit the sky in a pastel orange hue behind a dense forest of high-rise apartments. Every night was a breathtaking scenery that set my heart on fire to write something as beautiful as the city I saw from my balcony.
Of course, I started writing when I met someone to write to. She was a cute girl with short black hair, deep brown eyes, and a gentle smile. We met for the first time as actors in a play titled The Emperor’s New Clothes – where I played the emperor and she played the servant. We naturally grew close. To my surprise, she lived on the 4th floor of the same apartment! Who would have ever guessed?
I fondly recall the mornings when we walked to school together and the nights when we chatted over messenger till our moms forced us to go to bed. In our smiles, I started to see something more than friendship. And the countless times that we would run into each other made me believe in destiny. In retrospect, we were already communicating with our souls before ever touching hands. The innocence of our relationship lingers to this day.
When my family and I moved to Seattle, I promised to keep in touch with her. We wrote back and forth through emails, letters, and blog posts. Although we were far apart, in fact, on opposite ends of the Pacific ocean, our minds were together in our heart-felt writings to one another. She gave me courage to adapt into the American school system and I gave her comfort to give it her all at her academics.
Time went by and I wrote 442 blog posts to her from the winter of 2006 through spring of 2012. When I finally graduated from high school, I went to Korea and saw her for the first time in 6 years. She had become a beautiful lady. Somehow, her cuteness, short hair, deep brown eyes, and gentle smile was ever more the same. And when I kissed her on her lips, there was nothing more sweeter. We shared a beautiful summer together and a couple more years supporting each other in faith and trust.
I lament how distance eventually tore us apart. Although we do not write to each other anymore, I am forever blessed she brought water to my life that had been a dessert before. She helped me express myself in new ways and find solace in my own words. In essence, I am who I am largely because of the words I shared with her during my teenage years.
Wherever she maybe and whatever she maybe pursuing I wish her the absolute best. She guides me even now. I finished my first year of medical school. But with difficult family issues and an ended relationship, I choose to write again to seek comfort and a better understanding of myself.
Like the warm spring breeze that she brought into my life, I hope to find a breath of fresh air in reconnecting with me, that boy who lived on the 14th floor, that loves to write.