Intro

My name is Sara. There’s no H please and thank you. H means the light, and my path is to find the light.

I am a woman, a daughter, a sister, a mother, and maybe one day a wife. I am me and I have been me now for going on 35 years. I love nature. I love myself. I love my children and I love God. I have died many times and came close a few more. I have found God and myself and I can’t seem to find love but have come close a few times. My children are the whole world to me and I would die for them. I will find love for I love so deeply I deserve to be truly loved. Like a fairytale kinda love, a one in a million kinda love. 

I am a fairy, a Sarie Farie. I pick flowers and hug trees. I love freely because I want to. I feel in energy and see in souls. You can’t fool me if you try. I see things others can’t describe. They make me feel alive. You know me by my flavor but taste me by my mind. Try to hold on, you’re in for a crazy ride. I pick up on your tension I understand your passion. I deliver you from evil but your back on the slide. I ride the roller coaster because I don’t want to be alone. I ride the train because I can’t stand to be with me… 

We ride the train in separate cars,  we ride alone to be ourselves. 

We go away and don’t say a thing. You leave me alone even when you’re in the room. I ask and plead and you act like I don’t. You give me nothing as you promise me the world you show me nothing but the same lies again. I feel like an idiot I must look like a fool. You treat me like I’m stupid and it makes me want to cry. 

I go to bed at night you never wrap your arms around me you never lay my head on your chest. I used to tell you it was my favorite place now it’s just a place I may be able to visit for a moment but you push me aside and the excuse is you’re hot. 

I play the game but pray every day “God give me answers or the power to walk away” I don’t lie or cheat or steal away, I don’t talk to others and not tell you their names, I don’t hold you down or make you stay. I’ve tried to leave you but you just always stay. I can’t breathe I can’t move I’m trapped by your weight. You lie on me you squish me you make sure I can’t breathe. I’m suffocating, I’m drowning I’m dying in your arms.  

Roses on my bed and the thorns on my grave. FUCK your addiction and your mindset too!

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