stuff to actually start doing.

Since it’s already been about two weeks since school ended for me, I’ve finally decided to start doing the stuff I told myself I would do over summer break: draw, write, do math, and learn HTML.

I mean, I’ve FINALLY put some of my writing on the internet after years of just posting “journal entries” and daydreaming about what it would be like to get some feedback on my poetry or fiction. Scratch the poetry part–I don’t write poetry, because it’s hard and mine always sounds awkward and stilted. I try to convince myself that I write “free verse”, when in actuality I write cringe-worthy Tumblresque fake-deep narcissistic monologue that’s purposefully broken up into too many overly-short lines and sprinkled with unnecessary punctuation and inconsistent metaphors.

But for some reason one of my “poems” is a top story on Commaful. OMG. It only has like two dozen likes but I’m still hella proud of it. Ya girl is narcissistic as heck and she’s proud of something that she wrote, who would have thought.

Oh, and I’m still terrible at drawing, although I’m still trying to get better. I enjoy it just because of that Tumblr post that reminded me that no matter how ugly your art is, you created it out of nothing, just like a God. That’s a good feeling. However, it is amazing that I can somehow draw twenty faces with the same proportions and hairstyle, yet have most of the faces end up looking completely different. Why?

For the math thing, I’m going to start on calculus. Oh crap I just forgot I still have to sign up for the SAT in August oh CRAP when is the deadline oh thank GOD okay okay it’s July. Thank god. I want to take it again… I don’t have to but I want to. Anyway, calculus. I really love math. For some reason, I can’t really science that well, but I can math very well. My friend RS told me that it would be good to at least get familiar with derivatives before I go into BC without having taken AB. I trust her advice, she’s mad smart. She retook the chemistry AP this year just because she got a four last year and she wanted a five. 

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