My best friend, Jem, just passed away Tuesday, the 7th. I felt so guilty because when I found out, I didn’t cry any tears. But….today I’ve cried millions of them. It finally hit me that she’s gone. I’m 15, almost 16, and I told my mom that I started smoking to try and cope with her death, but my mom being her, grounded me and made a HUGE chore list for me to complete. The worst thing about being grounded this time is that i CAN’T see my friends, which is what would help me through this all. I don’t know what to do anymore. I just need a break from all this bad shit happening in my life. I’ve already had to deal with so many deaths of close friends and loved ones. I wish I could be happy, even just for a day.