i decided to preliminary test push up strength on the wall, back was burning and i felt altogether unpleasant. the 10 were a bit of a struggle. the diamond version was a bigger struggle. suffice it to say, i’m going to have to work towards the girl version. i still don’t know how to work the butts so my s won’t get f’d in the a.
food has been meat and veg. i bought mozzarella slices to turn into crisp little plates for pepperoni.
anxiety was getting to me last night so i finally had to tell myself that whatever happens will be for the best, that helped.
i do believe in an afterlife. i don’t know what form it takes but i want to open my soul up to the creator. i’ve felt too empty and numb inside for too long. and i can’t subscribe to any one faith, i believe they’re all different paths to the same destination. and i know i’m not perfect. i have a selfish streak in me a mile wide. all i can do is be a good version of me, try to let the bitterness go.
one thing i do know is my rib/whatever pain is an indicator of how tired i am physically. it took me a bit to figure that out. and i don’t want to sleep while the sun is out but it’s gearing up for hell.
my sister told me i can’t cut my hair. she better provide the hard stuff for when i have to work tangles out.