I texted LLS this Morning to tell Her that I had still planned on being at The playground to see the Boys. I had asked Her yesterday to please meet me there between 5pm and 6pm.
Anyway, I went to The playground and waited there like an idiot! She didn’t show and it was very painful! I guess that I deserve it. After the playground, I just wanted to go and get drunk! But instead I went to the AA meeting down at the church! The best thing about it was the coffee.
It seemed like most of the people there were there to complain! It wasn’t a pleasant experience! Though after hearing a few stories from some who were genuine, it did give me some hope!
I haven’t texted or called LLS again since I left the park! I’m going to do my best not to. She needs time to heal! She didn’t deserve any of the things that I put Her through! But it’s hard for me too! I wish that She knew that I’m hurting too. I’m detoxing, which is very hard. I’m trying to do all of this while having bouts of dizziness, thinking irrationally and craving alcohol like you wouldn’t believe. My hands won’t stop shaking!
I’m detoxing while missing three people that I love so much! But it’s probably a blessing for them not to see me right now. I’m moody.
Well, let’s hope for a better day tomorrow!! Happy Birthday to me!