Because I’m a girl

I’m an only child. I’m a female. Why is this important? I was gonna go out with a friend of mine to get some late night desserts and since it’s hot out, why not right? Plus, its summer. I bury myself with school work from morning until night seven days a week. Why can’t I just have fun? 

Well, to my parents a girl shouldn’t go out late at night to hangout. She should be home in her room, safe and sound. Honestly, I’m not an idiot who will go out and do stupid things. I’m capable of making the right decisions which I have for the past several years. I didn’t need my parents to tell me what I should and should not do. I barely go out as it is because I’m a loner. 

I don’t understand why they have this perceived image of girls. The standards they believe in and want me to live by, is not me. I am the way I am because I live in a bubble. A bubble being controlled by two people who mean the world to me. They control my time, who I spend it with, where I go, what my future should look like, and let’s not forget the pixie cut. My mom hated it because I looked like a guy. She made me feel so ugly and unwanted. That cut gave me a whole perspective on life as a girl. I found strength and courage to be who I am.  I was happy. No, I’ve never been that elated before in my life. 

They always make fun of me for being a loner and pressure me into going out more but when I do it’s like the whole world just fucking collapsed. That’s why when I go out, I make sure I get home before 7 or 8pm. If I don’t, and its too late, they fucking act like I just committed a crime. I’m 22 years old, is that age not old enough to go out and have fun with friends once in a while? Once I graduate college, I’m moving out and there is nothing they can do. I need to be away and do my own thing. 

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