Day 5 has come and gone! I ordered some books for the Boys today! That made me feel normal for a bit. I can’t even begin to explain how much I miss them! They’ve grown on me and theyre such a part of my life and routine. I never thought in a million years that I’d love two children as though they were my own. I truthfully love them!
As much as my mind wants to be angry with LLS for not letting me see them (hopefully She will in the future), right now isn’t a good time probably anyway. With all of the emotions and “detoxing” and etc, I probably wouldn’t be much fun to be around anyway! Though just a hug and a few minutes with them would be such a pick me up.
Today isn’t as bad as yesterday! I feel anger towards LLS, but I also feel understanding and I’m starting to look at things more from Her perspective. I’m starting to feel more guilty than I felt before. But that may be a good thing.
I realize that a lot has happened, but it would be great if I could shut my mind off for one day! But all in all, I felt improvements today! This all still stinks, but I feel less depressed and I feel more positive. My mind is still a blur though and I’m still not sleeping well.
But tomorrow is a new day!