Why I’m journaling

I’m deciding to journal now. I feel like there is so much anger, melancholy, and pain built up inside of me that needs to be let out. I feel that if I don’t let any of it out, I may explode. My depression has been getting the best of me because I gave my heart to somebody who played with it and told me they loved me, and each time I let them back in, they played with my heart again. I need clarity so badly. I loved him, but I’m attempting to love myself even more. I have no friends to express this stuff to. I feel like if I tell anyone any of this then I will be judged. I don’t need that. I need someone, anyone, to be here for me and never part. Just one person. but everybody has turned their backs on me and I’m left with nobody. Because of all of this, I’ve been isolating myself, not really sure if anyone truly cares or notices these changes in me. Whatever, I guess. I don’t matter. I’m deciding to journal however because my mind is never quiet and my heart never stops aching. I just want it all to go away. When will I get a break?

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