The past few days have been dwindling down to a black hole of destruction in my mind. The urge of impulse is eating away at me and it only gets harder and harder to manage…to control. Bits and pieces of me do not want to control it at all because of the thrill that could come with letting go, but also knowing it’s wrong. It’s hard to sort out my thoughts when they are just all over the place with no organization. It’s pushing my OCD to its limits which only creates more problems. I think the idea of knowing all this could’ve been prevented days ago only feeds more into this insanity of a mind. For the first time, it’s almost like my subconscious is preparing me for the explosion that is to come within myself.
I wish someone could walk up and take one look at me and…”I know exactly how you feel and what you are going through. This will get easier and I can help.” And that folks, is what you call great imagination from reality!