Ho there! My name is Amanda, but I prefer to be called Mandy. I am seventeen years old, born on February 26th, 2000. Jessie, my best friend if you remember from the last entry, was born the day before me on the 25th. Also on the 25th of February was when my older brother Cody was born, and his wife Kyla was born on the 13th. Pointless information, I know. But since we’re talking about birthdays, you know…
Anyways, when I was eight months old my father passed away due to a brain tumor that was unable to be reached through surgery. So I’ve been with my mom for as long as I can remember. Cody, who is ten years older than me, left the house after graduating high school. So for ten years I’ve been living alone with just my mother.
It can get incredibly lonesome at home, since it’s just me and mom. I stay in my room a lot. I used to sleep the days away and do absolutely nothing. I would come home from school and go right to bed and I’d spend the weekends sleeping, too. I had no energy. This was all due to depression. Yes, I struggle with depression. Or I used to at least. I take antidepressant medication and vitamins on top of that. It gets bad sometimes. Last year, it got bad enough to where I decided to stay inpatient at a mental hospital in Houston. It was rough, but I needed the help. And I think it really did help. It made me realize that there are people who truly have it worse than I do. I met some amazing people while staying in that hospital and had a good time, believe it or not, even though I wished to go back home.
For years, suicidal thoughts had been plaguing my mind. Sometimes, the thoughts still break through my recovery. I see a counselor in the city named Keitha. She is a wonderful lady and she is by far the best counselor I have ever had. She’s weird and eccentric, but you’ve got to love her. Jessie and I now both see her for counseling sessions. We also have group sessions. Those are the best. I love the girls in our group.
I am so happy I am recovering, but still…I have room for more improvement.
Now that I’ve been in better spirits, I should be using my time for doing more important tasks other than writing and playing video games all the time. I have a driver’s license that I HAVE to have at some point before college. I don’t even have my permit. I haven’t started on driver’s education at all yet. There’s that and I also have to start looking into colleges. I am a senior in high school now, so applying for colleges is super important. I need to be signing up to take tests that will grant me entry into college. Ugh, it’s all so overwhelming! Especially for me since I have no idea what to do. I just want to write books and have no other responsibilities. Wouldn’t that be heavenly?
Cody and Kyla are always pushing me to get started on all this stuff and it’s only making me more and more nervous. Why can’t I just start when I’m ready? But then I guess, if I had it my way, I would never get anything done. They’re right for trying to push me.
Goodness gracious, that is all I wish to write for today. I made my introduction. I don’t have to explain my whole life story all in one entry. You will all come to know more of me in the following entries to come, no doubt. So, goodbye for today!