I met with my friend’s Father at 7pm tonight! The AA meeting wasn’t until 8:00pm – but it was great because it gave me time to talk to someone who has been in my shoes. It was so uplifting to my moral compass to hear him listen and to hear him tell his stories and to hear Him give me his advice!
I explained to Him the guilt that I feel. He gave me some very solid advice. He told me that I can’t beat myself up!He explained that I should be happy about what took place after I drink at LLS’s Parents. He told me that LLS should be happy that it happened as well because it led me into realizing that I can’t drink and it led me to that AA meeting. Those words will probably stay implanted in my brain for the rest of my life! It was such a positive and heartwarming experience to have him to talk to.
The meeting was NOTHING like the first meeting that I attended down the street. I felt like at this meeting, everyone was there because they were serious and committed to not drinking. Hearing their stories made me feel like I wasn’t alone. It made me realize that there are a lot of people in my shoes or who have been in my shoes! It was an absolute wonderful experience! I am glad that I went!
It was sad to hear what some of these people have been through, but it was uplifting to hear their success stories as well! And not to take any credit away from any of these courageous individuals, but it made me realize that I’ve gone through nothing like they have. I actually feel blessed that my problem never manifested into the troubles that these people have been through!
I picked a good time to quit drinking! I believe that with all of my heart! I’m going to definitely continue to attend these meetings. Just this one meeting was very powerful to me! And although I’m on day number 10 right now – I got an 24 hour Sobriety chip. That chip means so much to me. I look forward to earning my 30 day chip and many more.
Today was just a fantastic day. I feel great inside and out. I don’t feel as guilty now. My stress is down, my anxiety is down, I haven’t had cravings, I haven’t felt the confusion or irrational thoughts. I feel terrific.
The only thing that I wish for today is that I could see the Boys, tell LLS how great the meeting was and to let her see how serious and committed that I am to this. I want Her to be proud of me!
I emailed LLS but still haven’t gotten a reply. But, within Gmail it shows me that She has been reading my messages. I guess that I just want Her to know that although I’m staying sober for myself – that I do love and respect Her enough to keep my word to Her that I’d be eliminating drinking from my life.
She deserves for me to keep that promise even if we don’t work things out. I want Her to know that I meant what I said when I told Her that I was done drinking – but I can’t blame Her for not replying. She dealt with The broken promises from Her ex Husband! She dealt with the let down of His broken promises.
Whether or not LLS and I end up talking, fixing things or back together again – I’m also doing this for Her. I want Her to know that someone loved and respected Her enough to keep their word. After what She’s been through in the past – SHE DESERVES IT!!!!
Well – time to try to get some sleep! Today was awesome!