I was definitely a strange kid… or was I?

When I was a kid I would secretly try to do everything that I saw someone else doing.

One time I saw a man in the streets who was cutting his nails with a razor blade, I don’t remember how I got my hands one but I found one and tried to do the same you can guess how a 6 old would handle a blade and needless to say I ended up cutting myself. My finger was bleeding all over, for some reason I was always calm in these situations, I stopped the bleeding by covering it with a cloth and then forgot all about it. It mustn’t have been a deep cut because I don’t have any memories of it after that.

Once I saw someone burn some papers or trash I don’t remember correctly but there was someone who burning something inside a bucket, it fascinated me I wanted to do it myself. There was this plastic bucket on the stair way for trash, by this point you should have realized what is going to happen, the bucket in which I saw the fire was a steel bucket and they were fairly common at that time. I took a match and went down the stair way to where the bucket was lit a match and put it in the bucket. Lucky me, the bucket was filled with discarded paper. It was amazing to see paper in the bucket catch fire and then it came, I saw a hole appear in the bucket and it started growing bigger and bigger that was mu que to leave and so I did. To this day I don’t know what happened after that, who put out the fire or what happened to the bucket but I do remember that the next day the bucket was not there.

There was this one time when I did something incredibly dangerous and stupid, I’m so happy that I got scarred half way through and decided to quit or else I wouldn’t have been able to walk for years if I went all the way with that plan of mine. I watched this movie on television, a Bollywood movies, in which the hero climbs a rope to get to top of a cliff to rescues her and I was flabbergasted like “Wow that is something amazing I have to do it”. So with the little knowledge I had at that time, again I was 5 or 6 at that time, I went on the roof of my house with a small half inch nail and hammer and a rope I made myself by joining pieces together of some tattered cloth. I put the nail in the cement between the bricks, I tried to hammer it in the brick but the nail would bend so I gave up and hammered it in the cement. Now if you know anything about nails and cement is that they are not compatible even a picture hanged on a nail would be in the danger of falling and I was going to climb down the back of our house by tying a ribbon to the nail. I hammered the nail, tied the rope and with one hand still holding firmly the edge of the roof I was, what do you call it in English… I was… I was, “Hanging”, yes “Hanging” on from the roof. I was 2 stories above ground. I got a little scared the ribbon didn’t reach all the way to the bottom I had miscalculated the distance it went only half the way, with one hand I was holding the ribbon slash rope and one hand on the edge of the roof. I stayed in that position for 15 or 30 seconds and then I climbed back. Thank God.

 From what I can remember I was definitely not good at hiding stuff, I remember a few time when I messed up. Kite flying is fun activity but where I live it is taken very seriously, people use glass dust coated strings to fly kite and fight aerial battles with their kites and it is very dangerous. These aerial end when someone’s kite has been cut off with the glass plated strings. The remaining string that was in the air falls on the ground and that is when people even die in some cases. A string if fall on a road and biker passes in speed without taking note of the falling string he might get a serious cut on the body or if his neck is the body part that comes in the way then he could die, many people have died in such a way thus flying kites was strictly not allowed in my home. We lived in a joint family system at that time so there were also cousins older than me who lived in the house. I once found a big ball of the glass coated string which we used to call “Pinna”, hidden in the storeroom, I took it. I had to go to the computer college which my father had at that time so holding that “Pinna” I walked to the shop just a few steps before I realized that I can’t take this string ball inside Dad will take it, so I found the perfect place to hide it, in a dried out foot deep ditch on the side of road. I thought no one will be able to find it, I don’t know why I thought that because it was in plain sight, IT WAS IN PLAIN SIGHT, needless to say I never saw that string ball again.

There was once this big magnet that I found and I hid it under the door handle of a neighbors front gate, to me something that no one can see could not be found, but obviously when they would come to open the door they would feel something was stuck under the handle but I didn’t knew that at that time and so I lost the magnet.

Television had a great impact on me and when I say great I MEAN GREAT. I remember I once saw a movie, again Bollywood, after watching that movie for the first time I developed the concept of love. I remember just after watching that movie I asked myself the question “Who do I love”, and then I forgot about it. A few day later we went to an Uncle’s house and there I saw him carrying his daughter in his arm, you can guess how small I was at that time with this explanation, when I saw her I thought to myself “Yes, she is the one I love”. I didn’t even knew her name at that time. This is the oldest recollection that I have of her. I can’t remember her face from that time but I do know she must have looked very cute. I had no detailed idea of what love was, I just knew it was between a boy and girl, a boy loves a girl… and that was it.

All the stories I have told here are form when I was in kindergarten and I know that because when I moved to first grade we moved to another home and all these stories are from when I was in our old home.

I have no recollection of any girl form kindergarten but I do remember a few boys from my class, not friends but boys, I remember I was bullied in class and I was always alone. There was this guy in our class who was taller than any of us and his name was “Jaffir” it rhymes with Giraffe and Giraffes are also tall so everyone used to call him Giraffe. There were two twin brothers whose name I don’t remember and then there were two cousins “Nabeel” and “Adeel” they lived near my home. We once went on a trip to a water part and like I said I was bullied and I was bullied there too, it was the scariest thing that had ever happened to me until that time. It was I was all the boys, they picked me up and were holding me above the water, deep water, I was scared and I was screaming and there must have been people everywhere but no one came to help. They took their time enjoying my torment and finally a teacher came and stopped them. I didn’t went neat the water during the trip after that.

I remember I used to lie a lot when I was kid, I don’t do it know, I try my best not to. I would make up stories and it was very easy for me. I once slept in class and the teacher came and I was still sleeping she didn’t wake me up, no one did, after the lecture was over someone woke me up and asked me what I was dreaming about… before that day I had heard about dreams but I had no idea what I was dreaming about and I never tried to remember what I was dreaming. I made up a story about a snake, it wasn’t an elaborate story but they all believed me. The  boy also told me that the teacher tried to wake me up and I mistook her for a boy and said with my head still down on the chair rest to go away and not wake me up.

I don’t remember ever going out to play with other boys in the neighborhood except this one time when there were all playing and I was able to get into a team because, you guesses it, I had the bat. The only friend figure I remember form this early childhood was my neighbor’s kid “Sonu”, last I heard about him his father had brought a second wife and he asked my grandma to adopt him because he was not happy with her, of course this was also years ago. We used to fly kites and buy kites together and that is all I remember if him. We used to smuggle kites onto the roof. We would buy a kite and then one would stand outside and one would go on the roof and lower a string I remember I tied the string to kite and he would pull the kite up to roof thus successfully smuggling the kite onto the roof.

I once got inspired by someone who was selling stuff and decided to start my own business, I had a little money and I thought what I could buy and then sell with this money, Eid Celebration was near and thus I decided to buy Eid card and then sell them, little did I knew that I would have to sell them at a higher price in order to make a profit, hilariously I sold the cards at the same price that I had bought them for… I was so innocent. The method I employed in order to sell the cards is something to remember. There was a little sitting bench attached to outside wall of my neighbors, above the bench there was a barred window. I tied strings on the bars and hanged the card that I had bought on the strings. I had a metal pencil case, I emptied it and brought it put the money which I was going to earn. Then I sat there waiting for costumers all day long, this also shows that I never feared what people would think of me and I am happy that I still don’t fear or give any heed to peoples opinion of what I do as long as the people whom I care about are ok with it O don’t care what anyone else say. It would be better to say that I had no notion of the concept of “Social Norm”.

Since my Dad had a computer college at time there was always a computer at our home in which I used to play Tom and Jerry sometimes. The computer that were sent home from the college always had a problem, actually that was the reason they were sent home. Something was always going wrong with the monitor. Monitor was only thing I knew as a computer CPU was something I knew nothing about, to me monitor was computer. I wasn’t fan of this computer thing there was much more fun stuff to do other then play video game, I never thought of video games as something that was so much fun to do. It was just an activity that I did sometimes.

I once found this thing in the bathroom, I had never seen it before it was a razor. I didn’t knew what it was or how to use it so I started to evaluate what it would, I checked the blade turned the whole thing around rubbed it on my hand I felt that it pricked me. I realized that there were cuts on finger but I wasn’t bleeding, so I did what any child would do after realizing that something was doing them harm, I rubbed it on my arm and bam the little microscopic hair that I had on my arm which could barely be seen at that time were gone, that was a new achievement and to celebrate this new thing I shave all the hair on my arms and my legs. Then I put the razor back where I found it.

Like I said before I was really good at lying and making up stories at that time, my grandfathers was into magic, balck magic kind of stuff, and once while I was there asked me look into a ring he was wearing and said “Your grandmother [his wife] saw someone who tried to scare her last night in her sleep, tell me what do you see in the ring”, I looked into the ring it was a ring with a big black stone and I saw nothing, I looked and him and said “Hm?” and repeated what he had said before and thus it was time for my story making ability to shine, “I see two women”, I said. “What are they wearing?” he said, “Red and Black” I replied, “What did they want?” he said, “VENGENCE!” I replied. This went on for a while and I kept on making up stories and he believed me and thus to this I don’t believe in magic at all. They are all fake bustards munching off the money of stupid people.

I have a lot more stories from kindergarten like the one in which I smoked a cigarette for the first time I got lost in a big Market or the in which I tell you that I was made the Monitor of my class or when started selling everything I could get my hands on or when I had an infection in my wound and no one knew what it was.

All that for another time.     


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