moving

do you have that fear that just grips you?

it just wraps itself around your neck and demands to be seen?

I have to move to college in 2 months and I cant help this crippling fear surround me. I have never been on my own and I keep preaching to everyone hoe excited I am to finally have independence I don’t tell them how truly scared I am.

what if this isn’t where I want my life to go in the end? what if I’m wrong?

what if all this leads to is more disappointment to my parents? what if I lose my friends when I move away? what if this just makes my relationship rocky?

theres just so many what ifs and I cant stand it. I’m the type of person who likes to have everything layed out in front of me. and this? this is such a huge unknown and I’m terrified its all going to go to shit an theres nothing I can do to comfort this feeling that I’m going to completely fuck my life over with this one thing.

I cant seem to be as excited as I was at first when I let all of this fear loom over me. I don’t know what to do anymore or how to go about any of this.

 

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