I’m about a week into summer vacation and have been spending my time studying. I ALMOST got myself therapy.I remember a time when I had been continuously been depressed during the summer(about a year ago or two when this happened), and I had a small session of therapy, and that was it!I was healed, better. Never went back after.I thought of trying to go in and get help, but every-time I get close to asking, I always just get a cold sweat that overcomes my body and I begin to get light-headed. I feel like I have an awful secret I have to protect or that everything inside of me is sealed up so tightly that It’s nearly impossible to voice what I’m feeling or thinking, even to friends.
I’m also struggling with trust issues towards someone I really enjoy being with. She’s practically my best friend as of right now, and never has met my family.I told her some things about my past, and some she doesn’t know. I’m afraid that once she knows everything that she will up and leave even-though she will know eventually regardless if I tell her or not. I just hope she doesn’t tell my family about anything I said.I really have to protect all my disgusting secrets, even if it means I can’t trust people or let them in.