College pt. 1

When I graduated from high school, I never in a billion years thought I would go away to school. My plan for college was to stay at home and go to junior college for two years and get my life together before I went and dropped $20,000 a year at a college. However, that plan quickly changed as I met with a college counselor about potential colleges. She told me that there were still a couple of options left open for me even though I had not taken the SAT nor the ACT. I was a very good student in school and I was extremely involved, well as much as you can be while attending a private school.

Honestly, the real reason why I was satisfied with going to junior college was because I was terrified of going to a big college. I was scared of getting out of my comfort zone, I was scared of change, of leaving everything that I had known, but I was ok with being stuck in the same place, even though I knew it would leave me unhappy and unsatisfied. I knew that if I stayed, I wouldn’t have to confront every fear that I had about growing up or going into the real world on my own.

The Lord definitely had a change in plans for that. I applied to one school. They had a residual ACT that I took and passed. I ended up getting pretty big scholarships from them that helped lower the cost of tuition. I went to the freshman camp they had and became friends with some amazing people. Then the final official word came in 2 weeks before move in date and I found out that I would be attending a private 4-year university.

During the whole process, I honestly just sat back and enjoyed the ride. I did what I needed to do, but I let go and let God take control. This was one of the biggest ways He had showed up in my life.

However, I am going to be very straight forward and honest with you. I am struggling with my faith right now. I honestly feel like it is because I am home right now and things are not the greatest with my family and all I can do is bite my tongue and try and get through the days, but I started this journal to write about my life and the struggles that I face and I know a lot of other people have too, but no one talks about.

It is important we talk about the dirty nasty things of life because if we don’t we feel like we have to face the difficulties alone and be judged while doing so. So here is my life. Real and raw. It is definitely not super exciting, but I have learned a lot in the past year and I know my growth will continue to rise in the next coming years.

Here’s to college and crazy life experiences. Peace out.

Love,
Ham N Cheese

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